This questionnaire is to be filled out separately by each participant. Sharing the questionnaire with your partner is not recommended. Filling it out online will make privacy easier. Sessions are usually done in confidential one-on-one meetings, with understanding that each partner has their own private space. What happens in session is never shared with your partner or anyone else, without your written permission.
The patterns of thought, feeling and perception that we bring to our relationship developed long before we met our partners and are ultimately are personal to each partner. In spite of sometimes knowing ‘better’, our particular history can lead to selective perceptions and interpretations that view our partners unfavorably and unfairly. Revealing these interpretations, based as they are on unconscious filtering, can be unnecessarily hurtful to your partner. Unconscious thoughts, feelings and emotions may be newly realized in a session, only to be immediately ‘recalibrated’, diminishing their significance. In plainer words, there may be no sense dropping trash on your partner on the way to the dumpster.
That said, some couples may decide to observe each other’s sessions. Sessions will sometimes reveal the story behind the issues that have been stressing a relationship, and observing the impact of the other‘s past can be moving, powerful and eye-opening, leading to greater understanding and intimacy in the relationship. You may also decide to work on just a single issue in each other’s presence, even if the bulk of the work is done alone.
The bottom line is this: ‘If you feel it, you can heal it’. If the presence of your partner inhibits you from acknowledging your thoughts or feelings, the effectiveness of the treatment is diminished because areas will be unaddressed.